Today Now!:Finding Masculine Halloween Costumes For Your Effeminate Son


If you’re the parent of an
overly feminine little boy, choosing the right Halloween
costume is crucial for avoiding humiliation during your
family’s trick-or-treat outings. Luckily, our next guest is
here to help us tackle this difficult problem,
head on. Jim. Thanks Trace. This is Anna Stephenson, author
of “Actually, He’s a Boy,” a how-to manual for parenting
an effeminate male child. Good to see you this morning, Anna.
– Oh, thanks for having me, Jim. I’m actually very excited
to talk to you today because when my nephew,
Derrick, turned eight, he started acting
giggly all the time. My brother is beside himself,
he’s afraid to let him out of the house, let alone on a night when
everybody’s dressing up. Right, well a lot of parents
feel that way, Jim. But unless you lock him in
the house, you run the risk that the ladyboy will sneak out
on his own dressed as a ballerina. And you’ll find him pirouetting
on somebody’s front porch with the whole neighborhood watching.
– Oh, the worst nightmare! But the good news is,
with a little creativity, we can disguise your girly
son as a normal kid. Well, tell us how to
do that, Anna! Come on out, Travis! Oh, it looks like we have
a little soldier man here. This is Travis, say hello, Travis.
– Hello, Travis. Travis had a gun and a
threatening knife there. But if you want your child to depict
a male dominated profession, be very careful not to choose
one that’s been co-opted by the gay community like a fireman,
a cop, a cowboy… – Good point! Otherwise they’ll just end up looking
like a stripper. – Right, exactly! Now let’s take a look at Ben.
– Ben, come on out! The world of science fiction
is a great place to look for fierce and violent characters.
– Right, right. So you’re a scary robot, huh?
– I guess so. This is also a good costume for
what I call, a prancer. – A prancer. A son who skips delicately
instead of just walking. Ben, take a few steps. Well, look at that!
Problem solved. I want to be a pastry chef
but she wouldn’t let me… Oh, look at this feature! Oh, now that’s a good option. Especially if you’re losing
control of the situation. Next we have Lance.
– Oh, hey! How you doing in there,
Big Head? Lance has long lashes and
an almost compulsive habit of twirling his curly, blond
around his fingers. Oh, well not anymore
with that head, right? I’m a big old bear!
– Yes, you are. The big head also
muffles his lisp. Oh! Maybe that’s the costume
for my nephew then. Oh, could be.
– That’s a great idea. Now we have Christian.
– Bla! Is a vampire really the
right choice here? Yes, well, vampires
are flashy dressers but it’s all in the service
of seducing a woman. Oh, OK, right.
– They’re virile and dangerous. But here’s what I
want to show you. By using copious
amount of blood we have sissy-proofed
this costume. Now that’s a very menacing
looking costume. Very masculine!
– You ruined my costume! It happens sometimes,
sweetie, go ahead. That’s really neat. Now, I hope you parents at home
who have faggy acting little boys have been taking notes, because we
got a lot of good advice here. Now we’re going to
head back over to Tracy, who’s going to show us how
effective trick-or-treating can feed your entire
family for a week! STILL AHEAD THIS HOUR: HOW TO SQUAT IN YOUR
FORECLOSED HOME

100 thoughts on “Today Now!:Finding Masculine Halloween Costumes For Your Effeminate Son

  1. “Oh, well maybe that’s a costume for my nephew then!”

    “By using copious amounts of blood we have sissy-proofed his costume.”

    😹😹😹

  2. Who's still watching this in 2019 and realise we are now laughing at this at quite a different level than we did in 2009?

  3. 2009: nah
    2010: no
    2011: eh…
    2012: no
    2013: nah
    2014: nope
    2015: no
    2016: nah
    2017: yeah no
    2018: almost…
    2019: ok lets put this in people’s recommendeds

  4. hey comment section please this isnt offensive at all? the onion is a parody thing! they are mocking people who are so insecure and stupid about their sons fashion choices or personality being too "feminine" because they associate it with homosexuality which isnt even accurate and they are homophobic! thats all

  5. When I was 9 I wanted to go as robin hood and my mom made my brother that costume and made me maid marian… Joke's on her I'm gay as hell

  6. People commenting "you can't make these sketches nowadays" here's the kicker- you can! and leftists do! It's just when you guys do it it's not satire! That's why it sucks!

  7. Imagine if Onion made skits like that today. The LGBTQABCDEFGs and the trigger warning crowd would just go completely berserk and "not get" the humor.

  8. Wait, only a week of Halloween candy??? Man, I used to bring in months of candy alone for the whole family! And my sister would get some too. But not as much as me. That useless bitch.

  9. This might just be my favorite Onion video. The satire, the jokes, the acting, all absolutely phenomenal. 10/10 satire.

  10. The ONN was a piece of art. It kills me that the Onion doesn't have the courage to keep this up today.. South Park doesn't get cancelled because they are fearless and insult everyone and won't stop because people get offended.
    I would do anything to write and act for this channel if they started up again..

  11. I know it's satire and I think it's extremely good, but this one hit a little close to home for me to be able to laugh about this. Curious, didn't think this would eventually happen to me. Still, awesome idea, great video, so thumbs up.

  12. The like/dislike ratio of this video shows clearly we are screwed: Onion >>J O K E<< have always 80-90% of likes… But a gay video >>J O K E<<? Well, what a shame, because people will fell offended and will dislike it despite being a good >>J O K E<<<, thinking that way they will make a point, when actually they become the joke after hitting the dislike button.a Now go to ole video is Eddie Murphy comedy standup: disliking a video will really , REALLY, fight discrimination and educate people about sexuality. PS: no knowing how to behave watching comedy sketches begs a disclaimer – I'm being sarcastic of how gay individuals here look like idiots thinking that disliking videos like this they will make any meaningful point. For comparison, I'm a gamer but I don't give a f*ck if if Onion made a video joking about how gamers prefer spend the night fighting with stranger than spend the same night sleeping with a woman. So, you, who disliked the video because felt a joke offended your feelings, congratulations because now not just the video is a joke, but you too.

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