Eddie Izzard "World History" Sketch from Dress to Kill



all of Europe give us do this well we're not gonna we're gonna have a sandwich and Germany in Japan they do seem to have a natural instinct in a very generalized way for organization and and being military but you know there's a very strong Green Party there now there's kids with beards it's getting okay and i just think that japan and germany should be the the peacekeepers of the world they should be parachuted in whatever something breaks out parachute germans japanese and we'll go look we've done this before we've done the killing hello take it from us just chill it chill out all right let they organize peace really efficiently really quickly all right peace peace peace peace is organized it'd be brilliant if they could do that's their destiny man yeah and Italy invented fascism 1922 Mussolini said right we're all fascists but most Italian people is always on scooters going ciao and they're into football in life and they're not fascist you know is that we're all fascist all right cha no helmet on all those fifties films like Roman holiday it's just like that everyone's just cool and hangs down so after the Second World War the whole you know well design come on Europe give these countries back come on you've got a bloody war let's give them back Britain whoa what's that behind your back it's Indian a number of other countries give them back Oh runs that one Volkers Islands or we need the Falkland Islands for strategic sheep purposes yeah and then it was a case of no and no longer but in America it was different the founding fathers landed in 16 both of them they set off from Plymouth and landed in Plymouth how lucky is that this is guellen we just come from Plymouth we've gone round the circle adds back another they finally got this a tower this is where our God has brought us to we can we can practice our religion here we can raise a family there's nobody here excuse me there's nobody here yes a land empty of human existence of the fuck of these guys what's all this please now we don't want any of your food thank you very much just put some clothes up meanwhile meanwhile that winter excuse me do you have any food I love all this love that yes I'm sorry bit brusque when Evil's arrived we didn't realize you owned the entire cancer but you have no system of ownership mm interesting um maybe that can come in useful later food thank you very much very much yes there's more of us coming but we'll keep our promises so the American government lying to the Native Americans for many many years and then President Clinton lied about a relationship and everyone was surprised a little naive I feel well my little kids we lied our heads off I didn't do it I wasn't I was dead at the time I was on the moon with Steve your dad's going I haven't even accused you of anything else oh all right what it what's the quick one did you brush your teeth no yes with what's correct Ellie what yeah I was dead at the time then when you're more mature you do start telling the truth in all situations I'm sorry I've broken the glass I've broken this is that an expense I've broken I'll pay for that I'm sorry and you do that to the people in the room they go what a strong personality that person huh I like to have sex with people with strong person acts and I broke up the things I've smashed that and and that's gone and I just run the cat out the window and whoa yeah so but you know perjury you know if you commit perjury I don't care don't give a shit I don't think you should because you grade murder you have murder one murder two you realize that there can be a difference in the level of murder so there must be a difference in level of perjury perjury one is when you're saying there's no Holocaust when you know ten million people have died in it and perjury nine is when you said you shagged someone when you didn't you know

29 thoughts on “Eddie Izzard "World History" Sketch from Dress to Kill

  1. Eddie the Woke.. Ahmeds would test gravity with him instantly and he's pro EU. Religions are not the biggest problems in the universe. Gender dimorphism and feminism are.

  2. He's so funny! And beautiful! And smart! Swoon! I want to have sex w people w strong personalities. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  3. He showed his true colours during the Brexit debates. He presented as yet another middle class arrogant prick who's ashamed to be British. Well, we are also ashamed you're British.

  4. Thank you for intelligent humor Ed, especially considering this is as close to a history lesson some kids or people will get. Love it

  5. I like the plan for Japan and Germany. Now let’s make every European country who has kicked Jewish people out take over ALL the financial responsibility for Israel.

  6. 1:50 The founding father's didn't land in Plymouth. The Pilgrims did. They were one group of many to land in the country, and they were not the first. Nor were they remotely close to the founding fathers. What a retarded joke from a bright man.

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